funtobealive

I was sitting today on a bench in a bus stop smoking my favorite cigarillo ( “davidoff mini”- highly recommended ). i wasn’t waiting for the bus, it was already after the end of service time. after a few minutes a women came by with a very heavy shopping cart over packed with groceries. ( it was very near the marketplace ). she looked poor and tiered and i thought if i should tell her that the bus doesn’t go anymore. it was really a riddle, many empty cabs went by and i thought to myself- she probably never took a cab in her life, and she wants to get home before the Shabat enters. while I was sitting there inventing all those stories about her, a shiny white Mercedes stopped at the bus stop, the driver was an elderly man that even the Mercedes didn’t make him look rich. the man stayed sitting in front of the wheel, while the women started loading the groceries alone into the car. all i could do was to sneer at the driver, who sneered back. that was my cue to leave and go back to my unsuccessful fantasy world.

My life at the moment reduced it self to dog walking. it’s not that I’m complaining, ( because I’m not complaining) although with the stifling summer heat it is sometime awful. In the last month i had the chance to walk at least 4 different dogs, all from a different social milieu. yes, yes, dogs definitely have a social milieu. in other words- tell me what dog you are walking and i’ll tell you who you are…
for the person who is walking the dogs, the dog it is like a gadget or an expansive ( or inexpensive ) car.
It all started with an aristocratic Poodle (Meranda) in cape cod. she was indeed a babe, she was eating better food than i usually get to eat. and her accessories wouldn’t shame any Valley girl/ suburban chick. the interesting part is to see how and what people are responding to the different dogs. So with the poodle chick it was the old ladies who were mostly affected. ( on a second thought maybe it was my undeniable charm on women over the age of 60). the next dog was a sweet mixed dog ( kasha ). she is a simple dog, i will say “blue collar” dog unless her collar was really silver metal. the only people who showed inters in us were kids, kids don’t care if a dog is beautiful or stylish, i think they can really since the good or bad nature of a dog. ( the last sentence was really to poetic for a funtobe). the third dog is my own dog. ( bella ), well, she is a big black neapolitan mastiff. quite an intimidating dog, especially if you don’t know her. if someone shows an inters it usually shows that he/she are not afraid of anything. in a way it is like driving a Hammer Jeep in a city. it is big, black and massive and everybody ask them self, why do you need that?!
the forth dog is a 6 month old very wrinkled and giddy british bulldog ( kiri ). she is small, cute and stylish ( a bit like a mini minor..), so we get allot of attention from women of all ages…
i promise to put pictures on in the next days.

yesterday I was taking the bus. I wanted to get a discount ticket-booklet, ( KARTISIA- for the hebrew speakers). the driver payed me a great compliment by asking if i want a youth one or an adult one. a youth ticket one is of course for youngsters under 18, an age I have forgotten many years ago. since it is double the price between the different tickets I considered taking the youth one, but i guess I’m not as rebellious as I was when I was 18. At the same bus ride 2 girls around the age of 18 sat behind me and communicated so loudly that i could hear them even behind the stream of music that was attached to my ears. One of them was telling the other- ” my older sister, she is 28″, “I know she is very old, but never the less I like her very much, and she is allot of fun to be with”…
Naturally, as a good old fashion funtobe, i took it as a personal insult. I have good reasons, this age conflict has been a main leitmotif during my last year. It is all relative isn’t it?
My 67 years old cello teacher told me “you and I are not spring chickens any more…”, at the same week I went into a tobacco sore in N.Y, asked very fancy questions about expansive cigars, and was carded! for those of you who are not familiar with the american rules, the lineal age for buying tobacco is 18+.
so what is better- looking young and feeling old, or looking old and feeling young?!

being a funtobe is not always an easy task. being a jewish funtobe is even harder, not to mention a jewish funtobe who is an israeli citizen and a poor student. but the most difficult task is to be a jewish- israeli- student- funtobe who happens to be a musician! Last week I was trying to find an apartment in cologne, germany. Being a pessimistic funtobe such as myself i was indeed prepared for disappointment, but not from the right reason. there is enough to put against me when i come to rent an apartment in a foreign country- being a foreigner for starters, and being a student and jewish usually doesn’t help either. funnily enough the only thing that was really discriminating me this time was the fact hat I’m a musician and i do need terribly enough to practice sometimes ( the cello ). Being an affable Israeli such as myself was even an advantage on a certain occasion. The owner of the apartment , ( a german lady in her sixties ), was even more pro-Israeli than I am, but she was anti-musicians!!! And so were all the other apartments owners. the only solution is not to mention the fact that we are a musician ho needs to practice, but that will be a lie, and a proud funtobe doesn’t lie (usually ).