funtobealive

the other day I had a discussion about one of the worlds eternal problems- “the toilet seat- up or down, that is the question”. I have always despised fellow friends who were tamed by there female better looking half to pee while sited. I never knew why i’ve found it so degrading, and that i realized that the question is not why siting is degrading but why standing is so good! except the obvious reasons that it is simply quicker to do i standing, and one doesn’t have to deal with who sat there before and with wiping the seat, I have found another reason and i believe for my self it is the main one. this is what i call the “sonorous satisfaction” effect. peeing standing is much louder than peeing sitting, and for myself it is probably the main reason why i shall not give up to all those tyrant women that insist we should do it siting down. you can probably not understand that but peeing in a echoey bathroom with high sealing is such a sonic celebration, especially f one didn’t pee for couple of hours. every toilet sounds differently, and it is always a joy to discover the unique personality of each toilet and its acoustics. one can also not compare the sound of a morning pee to the sound of a late night pee. Im sure that a day will come and some vicious women will invent a seat belt device that will strap you automatically to the toilet seat not allowing man to do what they need to do standing up!

I was today again at my crazy dentist. while i was waiting a young guy started talking to me. it started as a fairly normal chitchat, but something about this guy seemed wrong, maybe his eyes that were not really focussed. and than he told me he was released from a mental institution earlier today, where he was hospitalized for the last two month. he said: ” they told me there is something wrong with me- but i know that I’m fine”. he was really friendly and talkative, he wanted to know about places I’ve been to in the world and if i know of people that would like to go on a trip with him, he kept saying how much the sun is nice and how beautiful it is to be outdoors…. and than his father that was treated by the doctor this all time came out. he turned out to be an orthodox jew with the hole shebang- black outfit, a long bird, and horrible summer body odder. the boy was dressed normally, and was wearing a baseball cap so i don’t even know if he is religious. after they left the dentist asked me “do you know who this is?”, ( he meant the father ), “this is Baruch the bomber” the ex-king of the Israeli crime scene”. he said there use to be a time, if one wanted to blow someone up, they would cal the “bomber”. needless to say he became religious in order to wash up his crimes and soul. may god be with him.

I love to sit on the Balcony, especially if it’s an authentic telavivian balcony. as a meter of fact this is where im siting at the moment. what i like the most about it is that it gives you an exit to the world without leaving your apartment, and more than that it gives you an entry to the world of other people in the neighboring apartments. for instance this morning i was watching my half naked neighbor. ( a t-shirt and panties only!!!) rolling a joint. the joint part is just a speculation but since the only person i knew in israel who used to role his own cigarets was myself, i do believe my assumption is just. this is the funny part- this neighbor will never walk like that on the street, ( I’m telling you, I could really see her panties being sucked into her privet parts, hmm, ). but sitting on her balcony she was as good as being out side on the street, she could be seen by everybody very clearly from her third floor balcony. this is a very weird phenomena. we like this phenomena!

yesterday i had an epiphany, ( it’s a beautiful word, isn’t it? ). I was walking with a friend wearing my favorite T-shirt. it has on it a photo of the “dude” himself, and the following saying: “you are Mr. lebowsky, I am the dude”. My dear friend said: you look like the guy on your t-shirt. there was a resemblance indeed. I have long hare, I was wearing sunglasses, i wasn’t shaved, and many other small details. but most of all I think it was my aura at the moment- the way my life has been lately I am the dude. you know, I’m not doing much in the productive since of doing, and I’m enjoying every minute of being a “hopeless bum”. I even played not long ago bowlling for the first time in my life! ( what a stupid way of wasting ones time and money, hmm, maybe i’m not the dude after all…). I’m telling you all of that because I think my dream has come true- a few month ago in something that seems like a different life time, I had an Interview in the Jerusalem post with my fairly successful chamber music group at the time. the last question was- what would you be if you weren’t a musician?, so one colleague answered he would be a vet, and the other a businessman, and i said i would like to be the dude…. because it is fun to fulfill dreams.

one of the weirdest places in the middle east is the city of Bene-Brak. i had the honor of visiting it again last week after a long time i haven’t been there. for those of you who do not know- it is a large jewish orthodox city in the Tel Aviv metropolis. it is maybe 10 kilometer ( about 6 miles ) from Tel aviv secular self indulging center, and it is as if one has landed in poland of the 19th century-only uglier ( if that is possible at all….). i guess that the thing that makes it so weird is the proximity to Tel Aviv, but not only. it is in many ways a different world with different rules. even a different language- the main language is yiddish. they have different commercials,different shops, even some of the busses let the man on from the front door, and the women from the back. it is so poor and so crowded, and ugly and disturbing, and polluted that one asks himself how come so many kids are growing up here. but never the less it is very real. it is as if the city climbed so high on the surreal leader that it gained its authenticity again. the funniest thing happened when i once visited there on Purim ( the jewish Halloween ), and they kids were all dressed with the same costumes- the boys as turkish lords, and the girls as queens. it had such a beautiful naivety to it. but on the other hand it might be because they are so bloody poor! i don’t think it is fun to live in Bene-Brak.