funtobealive

after bolivia, colombia seems almost like western europe. the high light of the traveling was lending in La Paz. since it is the highest airport in the world ( more than 4000 meters), one doesn’t really lend there, it is more like the mountains are coming towards the airplane. to avoid the disturbing feeling caused by the high altitude funtobe was chewing coca leafs like some old bolivian farmer. i like the taste allot, it is like improved nicotine.
bogota is also quite high up (2,600), so playing a concert here is going to be a glorious athletic achievement.
our group was suffering a few painful losses, and after 2 weeks of touring our trip seems more like a survey of south american hospitals. ( surprisingly good till now…). our first violinist broke his leg while trying an omega in a beautiful park out side of Santa Cruz. changing 3 planes a day with a broken leg is not much fun. ( because it is fun to brake your leg when all you want is to explore the surroundings). our second violinist is suffering a horrible tooth ache. so bad that she needs an operation. in one word- funch!
other than that everything is fine. funtobe always had a soft spot for balconies, and I’m proud to say i have in my hotel room the best balcony ever. one side looks into the andes and the other into downtown bogota. and right in-front of me is simon bolivar bedroom… feechs…

believe it or not but funtobe is in bolivia. this is the real 3rd world country on our tour. apparently the world biggest baroque festival is taking place here ( at least that is what they claim). we arrived in Santa Cruz in an airport taken from poland in 1960. we were put in a 5 star hotel, unfortunately the stars were bolivian stars. the weather kind of reminds the most horrible summer days in Tel Aviv or NYC- as humid as it can possibly be-100%. it sounds as if I’m complaining but really it is an amazing place. our first concert was in a mission village 300 kilometer’s away from santa cruz. the driving there was on a “pot way”, or in other words there where more potholes than road. imagine 7 hours of trembling in a non air-conditioned “bus” thru a Bolivian forest. the funniest part is a bridge crossing a big river. the bridge can cary only one side of the traffic so if you are not lucky you can wait for your sides turn for more than an hour. near the waiting line a village of poor people selling stuff emerged- i think that is the first time i have seen real poverty. in the village were the concert took place there are no roads or pavements or lights at night. truly the end of the world. the concerts are intended for the indian local population so there is no admission. and i tell you the church ( a beautiful building ), was completely full. the indians are really interesting looking, the gave the exact same beautiful red color of the ground. and by far the smallest people i have seen. they kept the baroque music traditions from the time of the spaniards ( the baroque time ) until this very day. so they are really in touch with classical music. funtobe had the honor of teaching one of the local kids a cello lesson. the amazing thing was that the initiative came from the kid himself. he was a talented 15 years old indian kid who played the cello for only 3 years. man- was he eager to learn, he was really like a sponge thirsty for information. the only music teacher they have is a guitarist and he teaches everybody in the village.
the only less positive thing about this festival is the tourist from other places that are all so surprised that the indians can play classical music. quite condescending indeed. the general population of those remote areas is very interesting. except the indians you can find some weird Mennonite originating from germany. they are like the amish people only the do use electricity. the problem is that in the last 150 years they only fucked among themselves so they are completely retarded. they still speak plat deutsche that was spoken in europe 150 years ago.
tonight the concert is in santa cruz that in comparison with the village where we where is like Manhattan…

after 4 consecutive concerts in 3 different countries FTB can finely rest a bit in Lima, Peru. since it is Peach- the Rabbi of Lima invited us to a seder diner. when i heard the word rabbi i immediately thought that i should stay on guard after my last experience. and when i heard this Rabbi is a former student of the Chilean rabbi, i got even more edgy. but he turned out to be a very kind and nice family person. the weird thing however was first celebrating the seder in south america. ( half hebrew half spanish reading of the hagada). and second that the guest of honor was the israeli ambassador to chile. the ambassador is a druze from the Galilee. not being jewish what so ever, he seemed to be more zionist and more into the jewish thing than anybody else sitting at the table. he left an empty chair for the missing soldier and talked about the true freedom of the jewish people yet to be achieved. his wife was sitting the whole time looking as if years of repressing this bizarre behavior made her completely numbed and even to the situation.
the very jewish eastern european food was made by the peruvian housemaid. the combination was not the greatest i must confess. but also in normal days FTB and gefueltefish are not the best friends.

funtobe’s sexual aura strikes again, and in the wrong fucking direction. yesterday i played a concert in the city of concepcion Chile. ( which after Sau Paulo was a very nice change ), the concert had a connection to the Jewish community in town. the Rabbi of the community came to pick us up from the airport. one of the first things he told us was that his wife died in the terror attack on the jewish community in Buenos Aires. and that he used to be the main Rabbi of Chile and decided to stop. after the concert he invited us to a reception in a very decadent english like club. at dinner he was sitting right in front of me and kept giving me this warm look that at the time i was mistaken to understand as fatherly ( age wise he definitely could have been my father… ) he kept asking me why am i not drinking more wine. when it was time to go back to the hotel he went right towards me, held my hand, and said- “i like you”, “we should go out and have some fun”. than i started to understand that the Rabbi is into dicks rather than vaginas. unfortunately he was my ride back to the hotel. when we got there, he said bluntly- isn’t it a shame that you will sleep alone tonight? i ignored and said i want to go in because I’m cold, so he said- ” don’t worry, i’ll make you warm”. at this point i lost my politeness and just went as quickly as i could to my room. today we googled the guy and in wikipedia it said he was fired from his post as the main Rabbi of Chile due to a sirius of scandals…..

today we are playing in the very beautiful city of Frutillar. I’m looking at an amazing lake at sunset that at its background are 4 volcanos’. the only bizarre thing here that it is a bit like being in germany. many Nazi’s ran away to here after the war and everything is soooo german. from the names to the architecture.
thank goodness there is no rabbi here.

funtobe’s sexual aura strikes again, and in the wrong fucking direction. yesterday i played a concert in the city of concepcion Chile. ( which after Sau Paulo was a very nice change ), the concert had a connection to the Jewish community in town. the Rabbi of the community came to pick us up from the airport. one of the first things he told us was that his wife died in the terror attack on the jewish community in Buenos Aires. and that he used to be the main Rabbi of Chile and decided to stop. after the concert he invited us to a reception in a very decadent english like club. at dinner he was sitting right in front of me and kept giving me this warm look that at the time i was mistaken to understand as fatherly ( age wise he definitely could have been my father… ) he kept asking me why am i not drinking more wine. when it was time to go back to the hotel he went right towards me, held my hand, and said- “i like you”, “we should go out and have some fun”. than i started to understand that the Rabbi is into dicks rather than vaginas. unfortunately he was my ride back to the hotel. when we got there, he said bluntly- isn’t it a shame that you will sleep alone tonight? i ignored and said i want to go in because I’m cold, so he said- ” don’t worry, i’ll make you warm”. at this point i lost my politeness and just went as quickly as i could to my room. today we googled the guy and in wikipedia it said he was fired from his post as the main Rabbi of Chile due to a sirius of scandals…..

today we are playing in the very beautiful city of Frutillar. I’m looking at an amazing lake at sunset that at its background are 4 volcanos’. the only bizarre thing here that it is a bit like being in germany. many Nazi’s ran away to here after the war and everything is soooo german. from the names to the architecture.
thank goodness there is no rabbi here.

funtobe finely got to mark the 5th continent by visiting south america for the first time. our first stop is Sau Paulo, Brazil. what a crazy ugly place. the only place FTB can compare it too is Manila. already in the flight something was a bit off. the economy class was completely empty and the business class packed. and this is maybe what this city is about- no middle class- only filthy rich and very poor. nothing is walking distance in Sau Paulo. even the things that are walking distance ( such as the 800 meters from our hotel to the concert hall ). walking in Sau paulo ( especially with musical instruments ) is like screaming i wanna get kidnapped or mugged. by car there is the problem of car jacking and the fact that the 800 meters took something like half an hour. other than that the air quality makes NYC feel like the swiss alps. not recommended for asthmatic people. well this will not go on our most wanted vacation resorts list. but nothing better than a place that all you can do about it is complain.
on the way to chile now…